Presence of Mind

Presence of Mind Situation #1

John works in a supermarket. A man came in and asked John for half a kilogram of butter. The boy told him they only sold 1 kg packets of butter, but the man was persistent. The boy said he’d go ask his manager what to do.

John walked into the back room and said, “There’s a bloody fellow out there who wants to buy only half a kilo of butter.”

As he finished saying this he turned around to find the man standing right behind him,

So he added, “And this gentleman wants to buy the other half.”

The manager finished the deal and later said to John, “You almost got yourself in a lot of trouble earlier, but I must say I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of it. You think on your feet, and I like it a lot.

Presence of Mind Situation #2

Which place are you from?”

John replied, “I’m from Mexico, sir.”

“Oh really? Why did you leave Mexico?” asked the manager.

John replied, “They’re all just prostitutes and soccer players up there.”

“My wife is from Mexico,” the manager said.

John replied, “Which team did she play for?”

Presence of Mind Situation #3

There was a Japanese who went to India for sightseeing.On the last day, he hired a cab and told the driver to drive to the Airport.

During the journey, a Honda drove past the taxi. Thereupon, the man leaned out of the window excitedly and yelled, “Honda, very fast! Made in Japan !!!.

After a while, a Toyota sped past the taxi and again the Japanese man leaned out of the window and yelled, “Toyota, very fast! Made in Japan!”

And then a Mitsubishi sped past the taxi. For the third time, the Japanese leaned out of the window and yelled, “Mitsubishi, very fast! Made in Japan!”

The driver was a little angry, but he kept quiet. And this went on for quite a number of cars.

Finally, the taxi came to the airport. The fare was 800 rupees. !!!!The Japanese exclaimed, “What??… so expensive!”

There upon, the driver yelled back, “Meter, Made in India VERY VERY FAST !!!!!

Presence of Mind Situation #4

In a small town, a person decided to open up his Bar business, which was right opposite to a Temple. The Temple & its congregation started a campaign to block the Bar from opening with petitions and prayed daily against his business.

Work progressed. However, when it was almost complete and was about to open a few days later, a strong lightning struck the Bar and it was burnt to the ground.

The temple folks were rather smug in their outlook after that, till the Bar owner sued the Temple authorities on the grounds that the Temple through its congregation & prayers was ultimately responsible for the demise of his bar shop, either through direct or indirect actions or means.

In its reply to the court, the temple vehemently denied all responsibility or any connection that their prayers were reasons to the bar shop’s demise. As the case made its way into court, the judge looked over the paperwork at the hearing and commented:

‘I don’t know how I’m going to decide this case, but it appears from the paperwork, we have a bar owner who believes in the power of prayer and we have an entire temple and its devotees that doesn’t.’